I think I'm in the process of losing all inspiration for this pitiful blog of mine that I have for some reason kept returning to since its birth in 2005. Maybe it's because I only have 8 followers (one of which is myself) and it's been that way for...I don't know how many years. Maybe it's because I get very few comments which to me signifies even fewer readers.
So what's the point? Why am I blogging at all? To stand on my virtual podium and shout about all that is wrong with the world? To share some of my struggles (although honestly, if you knew the half of it, this blog is definitely not where I lay it all out). I have no purpose, no focus in my postings as whole. Individually, I don't like that.
I'm thinking of starting over. A new blog. Again. But this time with a specified purpose from the beginning. Let's be honest here, the reason we bloggers (or wannabes like me) blog is so others can hear us, validate us, encourage us, and at the very least, find us cool enough, on some level, to read every once in a while and maybe post something like, "Awesome post!" "Amen sister!"
Maybe the reason my blog sucks is that I have detached myself from the words. I write some things that are personal but still hold them at arm's length so the heart that is in my earlier posts is nowhere to be found in 2012.
Fear. That's it. That may the big problem here. The problem that seems to continually infiltrate my life. The fear of my friends turning on me. The fear of you, your eyes, reading without seeing and acting as you see fit.