Friday, February 18, 2011

Created to be His Help Meet

By Debbi Pearl

It's done! It's done! It's done! As someone who is engaged and never married before, this book was a little out of my league as I couldn't relate to many of the discussions...yet. However I'm sure my time will come.

I fought myself throughout these entire twenty-four chapters. Many times I threw the book down in annoyance vowing to be done with it. But there was something in me that wouldn't let me quit. I'm not sure if it's just my stubbornness telling me not to be a quitter or if God really did want me to see this through.

I wasn't so much frustrated with the concepts of the book, but with the condemning tone. At some points, it was if she was trying to say, "It's this way or the highway." While that may be true (I'm talking about when we look at what God's Word says about an issue), it's God who needs to convict us. The author used some personal experiences, but mostly she used letters written to her and her husband about marriages that were spiraling downward. Although I appreciated the authenticity of real life examples, I would say about 75% of the letters and personal illustrations used were unhappy ones; but maybe that's what this book needs.

The author goes into detail about how, as a wife, I should react and treat my husband in varying situations. I found myself annoyed and disappointed at constantly seeing pain and turmoil within these marriages. Some might say I am now "prepared" for some of the struggles in marriage. But quite frankly, I don't care to be bombarded with how often marriages have problems. Although it's wise to have the information, I also enjoy and appreciate stories that will excite me for marriage. Because of this, I read the surface of the book. Everything written was supported with scripture, however it was from the King James Version. Every "homework assignment" at the end of a chapter was assuming I had a KJV. I do not. So I tended to skip over the verses, because I really just wanted to get a general overview of the what this author had to say.

There is not doubt that much of what is in this book is hard to hear and to personally understand. However I do believe that the author makes clear that this book was written for women. She does not talk about how the men are supposed to be because what matters is what we women do in response to our men. I'm very interested to see what happens in real life when the ideas of this book are put into practice. I imagine that in a few years I will onc again pick this up from my bookshelf and find new meaning within the pages.

I discovered many concepts on how to be a Godly wife. The author discusses the dangers of being "overly spiritual" quite a bit. She also discusses issues such as how do you react when you discover your husband has a porn addiction? What happens when he confesses he cheated? How do you draw the line between obeying your husband and obeying God? Are you supposed to sit back and let him walk all over you or can you take a stand for what you believe is right? One of my favorite chapters was the discussion about the basic three types of men. It was fun learning about all types and figuring out where Jon fit. I aslo enjoyed learning how to love Jon better because of the kind of man he is.

The tone of this book is at times disconcerting, irritating, and contains cut-throat honesty. But I trust the concepts and heart behind the purpose this book. I do not recommend this book to new Christians, maybe not even to new wives because of how often this book left a sour taste in my mouth. However I do recommend reading it at some point and I don't believe there is a place where you are too far along in your marriage to not gain anything from this book. When you do read it I recommend going through it with a partner (not your husband), or a women's Bible study. It seems this book is much easier to get through when you have someone to discuss these concepts with and someone you can compare notes with as you put new ideas into practice.

I hope I didn't scare anyone away from reading "Created To Be His Help Meet." Like every other piece of literature that is not God breathed, this must taken as a grain of salt - although it's up to you how big that grain of salt is! Reading this book has led to deep and interesting conversations with friends as well as my fiance. I am looking forward to reading "Preparing To Be A Help Meet" with a good friend soon.

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